Subscriber Benefit
As a subscriber you can listen to articles at work, in the car, or while you work out. Subscribe Now
For the past 30 years, I have always looked forward to my haircut because of the man who cuts my hair. Located in a hair and beauty shop on the ground floor of our downtown office building for more than 30 years, Winston is just an escalator ride from the main lobby. But this is no ordinary escalator ride. Waiting at the bottom of those mechanical stairs is a man who possesses a passion and skill for identifying the positive meaning to be extracted from the bumps and bruises we all experience.
Winston is a loving father and grandparent, an independent businessman and a generous spirit. His favorite phrase, after commenting on some current event or turmoil in the news, goes something like this: “With all the beauty and brilliance in our world, we can handle these problems and end up better off than before.” He talks about kids and the importance of giving them three things: love, education and appreciation of their points of view. Here is an example: When I mentioned how frustrated my wife and I are with our daughter constantly being late in getting ready for school, always pushing the time limits, he said, “Well Tom, she’s just doing her job to see if you’ll do your job!” I had not thought of it that way. But most of all, he talks about the good things people do in our world that makes our time here so precious. Winston sees things that I don’t see in a way I’ve never considered and from a perspective I’ve never encountered. My conversations with him expand my understanding and appreciation for people or events, and they always end with a positive takeaway.
Dr. Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you do, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Every time I take that escalator ride up from Winston’s shop after a haircut and conversation, I feel better, I feel special and I feel uplifted. I wish everyone reading this column could spend time with Winston. We would live in a more harmonious, empathetic and supportive world where individuality, personal successes and failures and daily life challenges would be filtered through the color of goodness. Winston has a way of defusing disagreements between parties by allowing all interested persons the benefit of the doubt. By assuming an inherently positive motive in every situation, he reframes turmoil into opportunities to fully appreciate the “beauty and brilliance” of our human existence.
I appreciate the benefit of others who can help us reframe, step back and see the bigger picture from time to time. The practice of law, in isolation, can wear you down with the weight of our clients’ pressing problems, the tension of deadlines and expectations and the uncertainty of ultimate outcomes — whether in litigation or transactions. We all carry the idea that we either have the answer or can find the answer to our clients’ legal issues. Our cases or projects often have a winner and loser, and the adversarial system brings inherent conflict while falling short of adequately solving every problem. When we become too tethered to an argument, a project or a deadline (all of which are important), we sometimes cannot see the larger picture and lose sight of the “beauty and brilliance” of the world.
Other than my haircuts, one of the best ways to reframe, I have found, is to spend time with others who are passionate about something important. My experience this year as IndyBar president has allowed me to spend even more time with people who are passionate about our legal profession. The time I spend with other IndyBar members and with our IndyBar staff is uplifting because we share a passion for improving the lives of every lawyer and are taking important steps to accomplish specific goals. Winston has a unique ability to reframe every situation into a positive opportunity, and I see the same passion and attitude at the IndyBar.•
Please enable JavaScript to view this content.