Medley: You are good enough — beware of imposter syndrome

In 2015, I felt privileged to begin my career as a licensed Indiana attorney. From the beginning, I oozed with confidence and self-assurance that I would be a great litigator. Many colleagues, friends and clients seemed to appreciate and encourage my zealousness. My confidence naturally impacted my performances in the courtroom, where I successfully argued numerous summary judgments, child custody disputes and petitions for immediate possession of real property.

Yet many did not realize that each night when I’d go home, I did not feel successful. Instead, I felt like a fraud and a phony. I would think, “Aaron, you do not know what you’re doing, and the partners are going to figure it out soon.” With each after-hours email notification, I would think, “This is it; they’ve caught me.” When I returned to my office the next day, I’d imagine that I would soon be escorted from the building and told never to return. These thoughts continued for years.

It was not until I opened up about how I felt to a former co-worker (who happened to have an undergraduate degree in psychology) that I discovered that I was likely suffering from what is referred to as impostor syndrome. The American Psychology Association refers to impostor syndrome as the “impostor phenomenon.” It defines it as “the situation in which high accomplished, successful individuals paradoxically believe they are frauds who ultimately will fail and be unmasked as incompetent.”

Once I recognized that I was suffering from impostor feelings, I quickly concluded it would be detrimental to my health and my career in law if I did not address them properly. So, I began seeking guidance from mental health professionals and researching why I felt the way I did.

What I discovered is that I was not alone. According to a 2011 article in the International Journal of Behavior Science, an estimated 70% of the population will experience at least one episode of impostor syndrome in his or her lifetime. From there, I concluded that if impostor syndrome was that prevalent in society, it certainly must have an impact on many individuals in the legal profession — particularly when law practice notoriously involves handling high-stress situations, large workloads and a never-ending pursuit of perfection. So not only did I realize I was not alone, but many others in the legal community were likely struggling with the same feelings. Especially young lawyers.

Over time, I could adequately address the issues that made me feel like an impostor. So now, I’d like to share with those young and new lawyers some tips for when you may feel you do not belong in the legal profession.

You are not alone

As explained above, you are not alone in how you feel. It is likely that your fellow associates, attorneys and/or others in your office have experienced or are currently going through these same feelings. If you are comfortable, you should not feel ashamed to open up to a trusted co-worker about how you feel. Even if the trusted person has not personally experienced imposter syndrome, verbalizing how you feel will allow you the opportunity to process your own emotions, and you’ll feel better.

Stop comparing yourself

Let’s face it: We are in a profession filled with high achievers. From the first day of law school, we compare ourselves to peers and use that to measure our success. This can be detrimental to your mental health. I suggest always looking to improve and become competent in your practice area — neither of which involves what your peers or co-workers are doing around you. Focusing on what you can control in your practice and improving yourself will allow you to grow as an attorney and find your place in the law.

Remember what you do well

Stop focusing on perfection. It is OK that you want to be a high achiever and that you want to give your clients, courts and your supervising attorneys the best work product possible. However, mistakes do happen. Sometimes it’s best to remind yourself that you can do some tasks well enough. I understand that is a controversial revelation to most of you. It is OK not to do every task to absolute perfection. Instead, suppose you focus on what you already do well. In that case, you can build complete confidence to develop new skills you may be lacking early in your career.

Seek professional help

Suppose your impostor feelings are starting to negatively impact your work performance and/or your personal life. In that case, I suggest talking to a mental health professional. For many people with impostor feelings, individual therapy can be beneficial. Psychologists or other mental health professionals can give you the tools to address the core issues causing you to feel the way you do. Once you have gained this understanding, you can learn the tools necessary to avoid feeling like an impostor.

In conclusion, if you have impostor feelings, please take care of yourself and take the time to decide for yourself what you need to address your emotions. Regardless of how you may feel in the present or in the future about yourself, please remember that you are a valued member of our legal community. You are good enough.

If you or someone you know is suffering from mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, or if you are experiencing substance use issues, please consider contacting the Judges and Lawyers Assistance Program.•

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Aaron Medley is an attorney at Kightlinger & Gray LLP in Indianapolis. Opinions expressed are those of the author.