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“May December”
Despite loving the two female stars, Natalie Portman and Julianne Moore, this movie is tedious beyond description. I remain astounded that Manohla Dargis from the New York Times and the Golden Globes picked it as one of the top 10 films of 2023.
In summary, Julianne Moore plays a married mother of multiple children by her present and former marriage. Her present husband (Charles Melton) is not only much younger, but you learn that she served time in prison for having an affair with him when he was a seventh grader.
Things get worse, if that is remotely possible. Natalie Portman plays a Hollywood actress who meets them to enable her to accumulate relevant facts for a film about their past. People who hate Gracie (Moore) send packages containing excrement to her, and you are tempted to do the same thing before the end of the film. (Just kidding. Should have used a better analogy!)
The movie drags on as you watch Portman interview Gracie’s first husband and children from both marriages. Her present husband looks like a decent guy who married Gracie after she got out of prison. The script reminded me of a presentence report done on a client charged with child molestation.
I had no sympathy, much less interest, in any of these characters. See if the movie doesn’t conclude with Portman having sex with Moore’s husband.
It remains shocking that credible critics picked this film as one of the year’s best. I respectfully find it to be one of the worst.
“Saltburn”
Directed by Emerald Fennell following her sensational “Promising Young Woman” (2020), for which she won an Oscar for best original screenplay, I entered the theater with a bit of excitement. I left shaking my head with disappointment.
The film takes place in 2006, when Oliver Quick (Barry Keoghan) enrolls in Oxford University. Struggling, he is befriended by Felix Catton (Jacob Elordi), a wealthy student. Distraught over his father’s sudden death, Felix asks Oliver to spend the summer at Saltburn, his family’s estate.
At Saltburn, Oliver meets Felix’s parents, Sir James (Richard E. Grant) and Lady Elspeth (Rosamund Pike), his sister, Venetia (Alison Oliver), and his cousin, Farleigh (Archie Madekwe). Given that this family is borderline insane, Oliver wins them over.
The film is a tedious mess that will cause many of you to resist the urge to leave the theater. Sure, it has some great acting, particularly by Pike, but the boring plot forces me to reveal the film’s ending. Spoiler alert! Stop reading this review if you want to hunt down this cinematic mess.
Not only did Oliver lie about his father being dead, but he kills Felix, his mother and sister so he can lay claim to Saltburn. As I watched the film conclude with Oliver dancing naked through what is now his mansion, I was forced to laugh as I began to doubt my interest in the movie world where movies like this, “May December” and “Maestro” receive critical acclaim.•
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Robert Hammerle practices criminal law in Indianapolis. When he is not in the courtroom or the office, Bob can likely be found at one of his favorite movie theaters preparing to review the latest films. To read more of his reviews, visit www.bigmouthbobs.com. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
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