Trimble: Understanding the difference between ‘have to’ and ‘get to’

At a recent bar association meeting in Philadelphia, a very wise bar leader asked his audience, “How many of you understand the difference between ‘have to’ and ‘get to’?” None of us raised our hands. He asked us another more rhetorical question: “Do you go around telling people that you can’t find time for lunch or a meeting or a vacation because you ‘have to’ take a deposition, or you ‘have to’ be in court, or you ‘have to’ be in trial, or you ‘have to’ argue a case in front of the Indiana Supreme Court?” Most of us in the audience nodded affirmatively because we all have said “have to” many times.

Our speaker reminded us that as lawyers, we “get to” do all kinds of things that the average person never gets to do. He urged us to shift our thinking from a “have to” mentality to a “get to” mentality, and we would all lead more joyful lives.

Jon Gordon, an acclaimed leadership expert, has spoken and written extensively about the difference between “have to” and “get to.” He points out that all of us can change our attitudes and our actions with two little words: “get to.” We can view what we do as an opportunity rather than a burden.

Over the recent Thanksgiving holiday, I was part of a group of friends and family who were discussing the things that they we were thankful for this year. I immediately thought of my stable good health, my long happy marriage, my family, my friends and my law firm colleagues. But I also realized that I consider myself to be the luckiest guy in the world to have gone to law school and to be living life as a practicing lawyer. I get to be part of a profession that is generally held in high esteem, and I get to solve problems for people and bring them peace of mind. I get to work in a legal community of really fine people who care about our profession and the way that our profession is viewed by the community.

So, do you view what you do every day as a burden or an opportunity? Do you find that you are too often saying that you “have to” when you could be saying that you “get to”?

As the end of the year approaches, this is a good time to reflect on where you have been this past year and where you hope to venture in the year ahead. What can you do to make sure that your legal endeavors are an opportunity and less of a burden? I hope that you will consider a shift in your mindset. Yes, we are sometimes busy and often stressed by deadlines and demands. However, we are fortunate to be part of the legal profession and to be doing all the interesting and challenging things that we do every day.

Next time you start to say “have to,” stop for a second and switch your words to “get to.” Believe me, I assure you that you will be glad that you did.

#WillYouBeThere?•

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John Trimble (@indytrims) is a senior partner at the Indianapolis firm of Lewis Wagner LLP. He is a self-described bar association “junkie” who admits he spends an inordinate amount of time on law practice management, judicial independence and legal profession issues. Opinions expressed are those of the author.